Parish Letter Lent 3 B 2009
Anger: The Powerful Emotion
Jesus’ public display of anger (John 2:13-15) gives us an opportunity to look at that powerful emotion, anger, which we all experience throughout our lives.
We all feel angry at one time or another, yet we may not be aware of the anger. As a result, we may not think of ourselves as angry people, or even as capable of anger.
Like most emotions, it is in its expression and manifestation that anger is known. Therefore, it is to the extent that people exhibit anger that they are deemed as angry or not angry people.
We label differently the individual who is slighted by another and walks away without saying a word and the one who throws up a tantrum at being wronged. Yet, both do experience the powerful emotion of anger.
Anger is a useful indicator that we see that things are not in order, especially the order that we want. How we see things may be correct or incorrect, but that is what makes us angry.
Anger shows us how much we care about a relationship, an individual, a cause, an issue, a situation and indeed ourselves. If we did not care, and if these things were not important to us, we would not be angry about them.
We do not choose to be angry - we get angry as a matter of course. What we can choose is what to do when we are angry. We can choose to act out our anger, to express it, to let others know that we are angry.
We can also choose not to act it out, to suppress our anger, to turn it inwards rather than outwards. Our choice to, or not to, act out our anger can be based on our knowledge, or lack thereof, of the negative effects of that behaviour.
We can be afraid that our acting out will hurt and harm others. We can be afraid of the consequences of showing that we are angry to someone who is more powerful than we are.
We can tell ourselves that we are not angry, or we can simply deny the reality of our anger because of the costly consequences.
It is hard to show that we are angry to a powerful person. It is much easier to show that we are angry to those who are weaker than us, the more vulnerable and fragile. Unfortunately, we often act out our anger against the powerful on the weak - the “soft” targets.
Acting our anger out can bring about tremendous relief and feelings of satisfaction, even though consequences may follow. Not to act out our anger - denying or suppressing it - ensures there are no painful consequences, but does not take the anger away. It turns it inwards and makes it a negative force against us.
Unexpressed anger is often unresolved and can lead to a number of other negative feelings emotionally and physically. Many complications of the spirit and body are related to poor anger management.
Since anger is an unavoidable reality of human experience, the multimillion dollar question is: ‘How do I manage my anger?’ and not: ‘How can I not be angry?’
The Greek philosopher Aristotle taught that: “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy” (The Nichomachean Ethics).
This is, at the same time, an acknowledgement that to be angry is human and that through anger management we can be good people, in spite of our anger.
Jesus’ angry outburst and acting out in today’s Gospel has often been called “holy anger,” “righteous anger” and “divine anger.” That is true and in place. However, we must not lose sight that it was also a “human anger” because Jesus was fully human.
As a human being Jesus got angry about things, people, and relationships that mattered to him. His anger shows us that he cared about the temple, about the people of God, about God and about the things of God. His anger was a normal reaction to a situation and a relationship that had gone bad.
Today’s gospel challenges us to acknowledge that getting angry is part of being human and alive. It calls us to an awareness of our anger - each one of us has things that make us angry, things that we care and are passionate about.
This awareness helps us to choose well what to do with our anger, how to channel that energy into something constructive and life-giving, rather than destructive and diminishing to life.
As we seek to follow Jesus more closely in his passion this Lent, let us work on our anger. Jesus has been there and has done it - he can help us where we have difficulties with anger.
Let us pray that the Lord may teach us how to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way.
Yours in the Most Holy Redeemer
Fr William Guri, C.Ss.R.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Parish Letter Lent 3 B 2009
Anger: The Powerful Emotion
Jesus’ public display of anger (John 2:13-15) gives us an opportunity to look at that powerful emotion, anger, which we all experience throughout our lives. We all feel angry at one time or another, yet we may not be aware of the anger. As a result, we may not think of ourselves as angry people, or even as capable of anger. Like most emotions, it is in its expression and manifestation that anger is known. Therefore, it is to the extent that people exhibit anger that they are deemed as angry or not angry people. We label differently the individual who is slighted by another and walks away without saying a word and the one who throws up a tantrum at being wronged. Yet, both do experience the powerful emotion of anger. Anger is a useful indicator that we see that things are not in order, especially the order that we want. How we see things may be correct or incorrect, but that is what makes us angry. Anger shows us how much we care about a relationship, an individual, a cause, an issue, a situation and indeed ourselves. If we did not care, and if these things were not important to us, we would not be angry about them.
We do not choose to be angry - we get angry as a matter of course. What we can choose is what to do when we are angry. We can choose to act out our anger, to express it, to let others know that we are angry. We can also choose not to act it out, to suppress our anger, to turn it inwards rather than outwards. Our choice to, or not to, act out our anger can be based on our knowledge, or lack thereof, of the negative effects of that behaviour. We can be afraid that our acting out will hurt and harm others. We can be afraid of the consequences of showing that we are angry to someone who is more powerful than we are. We can tell ourselves that we are not angry, or we can simply deny the reality of our anger because of the costly consequences. It is hard to show that we are angry to a powerful person. It is much easier to show that we are angry to those who are weaker than us, the more vulnerable and fragile. Unfortunately, we often act out our anger against the powerful on the weak - the “soft” targets. Acting our anger out can bring about tremendous relief and feelings of satisfaction, even though consequences may follow. Not to act out our anger - denying or suppressing it - ensures there are no painful consequences, but does not take the anger away. It turns it inwards and makes it a negative force against us. Unexpressed anger is often unresolved and can lead to a number of other negative feelings emotionally and physically. Many complications of the spirit and body are related to poor anger management.
Since anger is an unavoidable reality of human experience, the multimillion dollar question is: ‘How do I manage my anger?’ and not: ‘How can I not be angry?’ The Greek philosopher Aristotle taught that: “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy” (The Nichomachean Ethics). This is, at the same time, an acknowledgement that to be angry is human and that through anger management we can be good people, in spite of our anger. Jesus’ angry outburst and acting out in today’s Gospel has often been called “holy anger,” “righteous anger” and “divine anger.” That is true and in place. However, we must not lose sight that it was also a “human anger” because Jesus was fully human. As a human being Jesus got angry about things, people, and relationships that mattered to him. His anger shows us that he cared about the temple, about the people of God, about God and about the things of God. His anger was a normal reaction to a situation and a relationship that had gone bad.
Today’s gospel challenges us to acknowledge that getting angry is part of being human and alive. It calls us to an awareness of our anger - each one of us has things that make us angry, things that we care and are passionate about. This awareness helps us to choose well what to do with our anger, how to channel that energy into something constructive and life-giving, rather than destructive and diminishing to life. As we seek to follow Jesus more closely in his passion this Lent, let us work on our anger. Jesus has been there and has done it - he can help us where we have difficulties with anger. Let us pray that the Lord may teach us how to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way.
Yours in the Most Holy Redeemer Fr William Guri, C.Ss.R.
Anger: The Powerful Emotion
Jesus’ public display of anger (John 2:13-15) gives us an opportunity to look at that powerful emotion, anger, which we all experience throughout our lives. We all feel angry at one time or another, yet we may not be aware of the anger. As a result, we may not think of ourselves as angry people, or even as capable of anger. Like most emotions, it is in its expression and manifestation that anger is known. Therefore, it is to the extent that people exhibit anger that they are deemed as angry or not angry people. We label differently the individual who is slighted by another and walks away without saying a word and the one who throws up a tantrum at being wronged. Yet, both do experience the powerful emotion of anger. Anger is a useful indicator that we see that things are not in order, especially the order that we want. How we see things may be correct or incorrect, but that is what makes us angry. Anger shows us how much we care about a relationship, an individual, a cause, an issue, a situation and indeed ourselves. If we did not care, and if these things were not important to us, we would not be angry about them.
We do not choose to be angry - we get angry as a matter of course. What we can choose is what to do when we are angry. We can choose to act out our anger, to express it, to let others know that we are angry. We can also choose not to act it out, to suppress our anger, to turn it inwards rather than outwards. Our choice to, or not to, act out our anger can be based on our knowledge, or lack thereof, of the negative effects of that behaviour. We can be afraid that our acting out will hurt and harm others. We can be afraid of the consequences of showing that we are angry to someone who is more powerful than we are. We can tell ourselves that we are not angry, or we can simply deny the reality of our anger because of the costly consequences. It is hard to show that we are angry to a powerful person. It is much easier to show that we are angry to those who are weaker than us, the more vulnerable and fragile. Unfortunately, we often act out our anger against the powerful on the weak - the “soft” targets. Acting our anger out can bring about tremendous relief and feelings of satisfaction, even though consequences may follow. Not to act out our anger - denying or suppressing it - ensures there are no painful consequences, but does not take the anger away. It turns it inwards and makes it a negative force against us. Unexpressed anger is often unresolved and can lead to a number of other negative feelings emotionally and physically. Many complications of the spirit and body are related to poor anger management.
Since anger is an unavoidable reality of human experience, the multimillion dollar question is: ‘How do I manage my anger?’ and not: ‘How can I not be angry?’ The Greek philosopher Aristotle taught that: “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy” (The Nichomachean Ethics). This is, at the same time, an acknowledgement that to be angry is human and that through anger management we can be good people, in spite of our anger. Jesus’ angry outburst and acting out in today’s Gospel has often been called “holy anger,” “righteous anger” and “divine anger.” That is true and in place. However, we must not lose sight that it was also a “human anger” because Jesus was fully human. As a human being Jesus got angry about things, people, and relationships that mattered to him. His anger shows us that he cared about the temple, about the people of God, about God and about the things of God. His anger was a normal reaction to a situation and a relationship that had gone bad.
Today’s gospel challenges us to acknowledge that getting angry is part of being human and alive. It calls us to an awareness of our anger - each one of us has things that make us angry, things that we care and are passionate about. This awareness helps us to choose well what to do with our anger, how to channel that energy into something constructive and life-giving, rather than destructive and diminishing to life. As we seek to follow Jesus more closely in his passion this Lent, let us work on our anger. Jesus has been there and has done it - he can help us where we have difficulties with anger. Let us pray that the Lord may teach us how to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way.
Yours in the Most Holy Redeemer Fr William Guri, C.Ss.R.
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